Attack
by Kanan
Summary: An encounter with Muraki after the Kyoto case has driven Tsuzuki over the edge, and made him have a major heart attack. Hisoka wants to help, but he is worrying himself sick. What will happen?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei, and I am sad to announce that this is a fic that is different than what I usually write. It will be more emotional, more frightening, and you will possibly cry. The pain and reality in this story will shock you and hit you right where it hurts… deep in your hearts! A warning to you… if you like Tsuzuki very much, or I you have a weak heart, do not read this.

"Ooh! Hisoka, I want that one!"

"Get whatever you want and lets go already. Tatsumi will not be happy if we're late for work again!"

"Yeah, yeah…"

A typical morning. Tsuzuki and Hisoka had stopped at one of their favorite bakeries on their way to work. Yes, even the kid liked it, because they served good hot cocoa, and we all know why Tsuzuki liked it. At the time, Hisoka was glaring at him from the front counter as the amethyst-eyed man was making his selection.

"Hisoka, can I get it, please?"

"I said it was fine, didn't I?"

"Oh, right…"

Tsuzuki pointed to the one he wanted, and stood up. As he did, he let out a deep breath and put a hand to his head.

"What's the matter?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing… I didn't sleep so well last night, and I've got a headache…"

"By the looks of it, it's pretty bad."

"No, I'll be okay…"

"Maybe. You have been more irritable, lately. Is it the Kyoto case that's bothering you, still?"

Yes, that could be it. Tsuzuki wasn't sure, himself, anymore. The Kyoto case was hard, and it tested them all, but that was over two months ago. No, that wasn't it. what bothered him… was the fact that Muraki may have survived. Tsuzuki had stabbed him deeply, but even Hisoka was convinced he had survived… a part of him was screaming. He should have made sure that evil man had died, he thought. He didn't even notice as Hisoka stuck a tray of cupcakes in front of him until Hisoka cleared his throat. He jumped and looked at the irritated boy.

"Do you want to go home?"

"What?"

"You wont be able to get any work done if you're planning on being like that all day, so there would be no point in bringing you in."

Tsuzuki playfully frowned ad took his sweets. He faked a hurt expression.

"Hidoi…! Why do you have to be so cruel to me?"

"Whatever…"

Hisoka rolled their eyes and they were off. The walk was slow, as Tsuzuki had to ogle every other sweet shop on their way. Yes, it was a typical morning… Hisoka tried to balance holding his cocoa and a large file he had been studying as he walked. Tsuzuki was ahead of him, and seemingly lost in thought again, and the boy kept a fir watch on him.

When he tried to get a drink through the straw, however, the files slipped from under his arm. Cursing to himself, he turned and kneeled to get them. Tsuzuki hadn't noticed and kept on walking. Hisoka quickly gathered some of the papers that had fallen out, but when he set a hand on the file, a paler hand landed on his own. It was bigger than his, and he thought a passerby had stopped to help him. However, as soon as their skin touched, Hisoka panicked. He knew the feel of the skin, he knew the thoughts his empathy was picking up, and he was terrified… because he knew who the hand was connected to. Slowly, he looked up, trying to clear his throat and keep his heart steady, but it all fell apart as he locked eyes with dark, sinister silver orbs.

His heart was racing, and he was stiff and numb all over. The cruel doctor was smiling down at him, but it wasn't a pure or innocent smile in the least.

"My… do you need a hand?"

Hisoka's voice caught in his throat. Where was Tsuzuki? Why hadn't he noticed that he was no longer at his side? He wanted to call out, but what would that do? Tsuzuki was still probably the one the doctor wanted, and could he risk leading his partner into the man's clutches?

Tsuzuki hadn't noticed at all. He was, again, lost in thought. He was staring ahead without really seeing anything, and he occasionally picked up a treat from his tray and popped it into his mouth. He did notice when he only had one left. He stopped and stared at it for a long time. It was a cookie with green icing on it, and it reminded him of his partner. Closing his eyes and smiling, he turned his head.

"Hisoka, do you want the last one?"

Receiving no reply, he opened his eyes. Hisoka was nowhere in sight. He remained calm at first, but trying to find his partner in the large crowd that had formed walking down the street wasn't easy. It only made him more worried when he looked far behind him and saw his partner staring blankly at the last person Tsuzuki had wanted to see.

Hisoka was standing now, having been pulled to his feet by the stronger man. Maybe Muraki wasn't so strong, but Hisoka felt weak every time he was around. The man had a firm hold on his thin wrist, and he brought it to his lips to tenderly place a kiss upon the shaking hand.

"It's certainly been a while… did you miss me?"

Hisoka couldn't speak. His mind was bank, and he was quickly losing whatever grasp he had on his sanity. He knew Muraki wasn't dead… he knew it, but he still didn't want to believe it. He didn't remember where he was or what was going on, until he heard Tsuzuki yell.

"Hisoka!"

Tsuzuki ran trough the crowd, not caring who he knocked over in the meantime. He got to Hisoka's side in record time and pulled him out of the doctor's grasp. Funny… Muraki hadn't been holding on tightly at all, and Hisoka could have gotten away. But, Tsuzuki knew how much the evil man affected his partner. Hisoka was still in a daze as Tsuzuki pulled him to his chest and touched his cheek.

"Hisoka…?"

He snapped out of it, and looked up at Tsuzuki with wide, frightened eyes. Hisoka was hurting… he was shaking and paling. Tsuzuki glared out front as Muraki began to chuckle to himself.

"Muraki…"

"Well, well… neither of you have changed at all since Kyoto! I'll have to try harder next time if I want to break you. I enjoy seeing that…!"

"Muraki, haven't you already done enough? Why don't you go and find another hobby to pursue?"

"Why? You're far more interesting than any LIVING specimen…"

"Damn you…"

Tsuzuki let go of Hisoka and started walking towards Muraki. He winced, and held his arm.

"What's wrong? Does your arm hurt? I can take a look, if you want!"

Tsuzuki swung at him, and missed. It seemed so easy to move out of his range. Hisoka stood back and watched. His partner was moving sluggishly, and already, after the first few swings, he looked to be out of breath. Hisoka was worried. Despite the obvious risks, like being overwhelmed, Hisoka chanced letting his shields down a bit. Once he did so, he was shocked at the different kinds of emotions Tsuzuki was feeling at that one time. He was sad, angry, guilty that he didn't get there sooner, and he was remembering how much trouble Muraki ad caused him both. Something bad was going o happen… he knew it.

"What's the matter, Mr. Tsuzuki? Can't you even land a single punch? I'm starting to think you're missing on purpose!"

"Damn you!"

"How pathetic… Do I have to kill someone before you'll take me seriously?"

His gaze drifted to Hisoka, and the boy gasped.

"No!"

In a lightning fast move, Tsuzuki's foot swung up and hit Muraki in the chest. The doctor coughed and wasn't prepared for the next blow to his jaw.

"Muraki… you're the worst person I've ever met, and I hate your guts! You've hurt Hisoka, Maria Wong, and countless others!"

He just kept hitting him, and it looked like Muraki had stopped fighting, then.

"I swear I'll make you pay!"

Muraki fell backward onto a bench, and Tsuzuki stepped foreward with darkness in his eyes. He held up his fist, but when he brought it down, Muraki had vanished. His fist crashed into the wood bench. He glared at the bench, as if Muraki had tainted it. The crowd that had formed dissipated, ad Hisoka walked up behind his partner. He wanted to touch his shoulder, but before he had the chance, Tsuzuki growled and hit the bench again. He just kept hitting and kicking it, and it scared the poor boy. Even with his shields up, his partner was projecting dangerous waves of anger.

Finally out of breath, Tsuzuki slumped over and tried to regain his composure. Hisoka stood next to him and tried his hardest to speak.

"W-what… what was that all…"

"Sorry… I couldn't hold it back… All of that anger had been building up and…"

Tsuzuki stood up, and he felt dizzy. He didn't finish what he was saying. He stumbled back a bit onto the sidewalk before falling to his knees. Hisoka shouted to him and fell beside him. Tsuzuki's breathing was short and ragged, and he was grasping his chest so hard that his nails were digging into flesh and drawing blood.

"Tsuzuki!"

"H-Hisoka… my chest feels so tight…and I'm feeling pain all through my arms…! I-it's hard to breathe, Hisoka…! It hurts! It hurts so much…!"

"H-hold on! Hey! Someone help!"

"Hi-i…"

"Don't talk!"

With a final inhale, Tsuzuki fully collapsed onto Hisoka's lap and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The boy tried shaking him, but there was no response.

"Someone help! Get me a cell phone quick!"


	2. Chapter 2

After three weeks of intensive care and worry, Tsuuki shifted in the hospital bed and s\tried to sit up. He couldn't remember what he was doing here, but something came back to him as his chest tightened at the sudden movement. He had to lie back down to alleviate the deep sting in his chest. After a few long minutes of deep breathing, he began putting things together. He was with Hisoka. At the bakery. He had snacks. …But then what? Oh, yeah… Muraki.

He sighed hard and scowled at the ceiling. Had that madman done something to him? That, he couldn't remember. During their small spat, he remembered feeling weak, and the pain in his arm was nearly unbearable, but for Hisoka's sake, he fought on. Then, he thought about the bench he had completely destroyed. Tatsumi would not be happy about that… Speaking of which…

Hearing soft breathing, Tsuzuki turned his head slightly to the left and saw Tatsumi sleeping in the chair by his bed. He didn't look angry, and he looked really tired. How long had he been there, watching over him? How long had he been out? The longer he stared at his former partner, the more questions he had. Where was Watari? Where was Hisoka? Why weren't they there? Were they okay? Would he get vacation time after this? Okay, so that last one wasn't as important as the others, but he was still Tsuzuki and was allowed to think little Tsuzuki thoughts. But soon, his need to know grew wild, and he couldn't stand to wait. He weakly reached his hand out and set it over Tatsumi's. even just the small action was enough to pull Tatsumi out of his troubled sleep. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, and then he noticed the amethyst eyes staring at him.

"Tsuzuki…"

"Morning… Tatsu…mi…"

For some reason, his throat seemed raw, and he was breathing heavy again. As he breathed, his chest began to burn, and he closed his eyes as he waited for the pain to leave him. Tatsumi rose from his seat and worriedly pushed a button by the bed. Within moments, Watari ran I with a syringe. Tsuzuki was too out of it to feel the needle pushing through his skin, but he felt calmer afterwards. Once he was calmed down and still mostly conscious, he turned to the two. Tatsumi had been given a fright, and Watari was shaking his head at him.

"You have to relax, Tsuzuki. If you get over excited, you're going to get worse."

"Worse? I don't think I could feel any worse right now…"

Tatsumi leaned over and put his hand to his forehead. Tatsumi's hand seemed cold, but it felt nice against his heated flesh.

"Your fever has gone down, at last. And aside from that, you've regained consciousness. I'd say you're getting better. Are you hungry?"

Tsuzuki shook his head.

"You should eat. You need to get your strength back."

"…A cold… did this to me?"

"It wasn't a cold, Tsuzuki… you've suffered from cardiac arrest. We had to restart your heart."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened and his hands shook as Tatsumi held them, but other than that, he couldn't react very much due to the sedative. Still, Tsuzuki was shocked. His lips quivered and his mouth felt even dryer as he tried to get words out.

"I-I was…"

"We revived you. You're in stable condition now, but you have to rest."

"My god… I can't believe this…"

He closed his eyes again and he was shaking. Watari went to the other side of the bed and set a hand on his shoulder to calm him. Then, another thing popped into his head. Again, he tried to sit up, but Tatsumi pushed him down.

"W-where is Hisoka? Is Hisoka okay!"

"Physically, Hisoka should be fine."

"Should be…?"

"Bon was hurt the most by this. After he brought you in, he had a nervous breakdown and ran off, locking himself in his apartment. We haven't seen him in three weeks."

So that was explaining his next question. He had been unconscious for three weeks… and Hisoka was closing himself off again. After all the progress they had made, his heart attack may have turned back the clock.

"Tsuzuki?"

He opened his eyes again, and saw the worried faces.

"I need to go and see him."

"Not in your condition, you wont."

The blonde put his hands on his head and gave a stern, very matter-of-factly. Sighing, he nodded his head. He wouldn't go to see his partner just yet. No… he'd wait until the others were away.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late when Tsuzuki dressed and made his way almost silently away from the infirmary. However, his actions did not go unnoticed. Tatsumi and Watari both knew he was up to something, and so they waited and watched him go.

"Are you sure it's okay to just let him leave in his condition?"

"Tsuzuki is strong."

"Strong, yes. Certainly strong enough to survive a heart attack. That wasn't what I was asking, though, Tatsumi."

Tatsumi removed his glasses and smiled at the door Tsuzuki neglected to close on his way out.

"You know Tsuzuki just as well as I do. When he cares about someone else, it doesn't matter what kind of condition he is in. We have no way in hell of stopping him."

In the ten minutes it took him to get to Hisoka's apartment, Tsuzuki began to feel slightly lightheaded. Still, he had an objective, and he wouldn't give up before he saw Hisoka. Besides, it wouldn't help the kid to see him pass out again right in front of him. Heaven knows Tsuzuki already scared him out of his wits. Now, he was going to set things right. As he approached the door, Tsuzuki looked down at his hand, where he held a bottle of water. He had used it in case he needed a break, but so far, he hadn't. It was then that he smiled and decided to give it to his partner.

Then, he turned his head towards the door again, and he rose his hand to knock on the door, and he heard small sobs coming from inside. The darkness seeped from the small home, and Tsuzuki could feel the sorrow from the only, lonely inhabitant. It tore at Tsuzuki's heart to feel what he did, and if he were an empath, well, it would be about the same. Tsuzuki knew Hisoka so well; he didn't need empathy to know how he was feeling or what he was thinking. And now, he was thinking dark, sad thoughts.

Sighing one last time, he pushed the door open, noticing that it wasn't locked, let alone even closed at all. Stepping into the room, he saw how dark it was. It wasn't that the curtains were down, but that it was dark. Said curtains were laying on the floor, stripped and shreaded and torn. The couch was missing some of its cushions and the two chairs in the dining area were overturned. Walking in a little further, he found the table, in pieces on the kitchen floor. But that wasn't all. A lot of the dishes lay broken on the floor, and some blood spots were there, also.

Seeing all the damage, Tsuzuki built up a possible scenario of what had happened. Hisoka was crying, which meant he wasn't focussing on what he was doing. He ran into the apartment, but when he slammed the door, it didn't close all the way. With his front door, you have to close it while turning the handle to get it to shut properly. Since it wasn't, Hisoka must have been too distraught. That's when he went to the nearest item, the couch, and threw the cushions around. A broken vase lay by one of them, which suggested that it had knocked into it and pulled it off of the missing end table. The curtains were next. He must have seen the light streaming through them from the setting sun. Light was a symbol of hope and joy, which was the opposite of what he was feeling. Though it wouldn't have made a lot of sense to remove the thing that is blocking something you hate, but Hisoka wasn't exactly in a rational state of mind. So, after tearing up the curtains, he must have realized what he had done and stepped back, thinking how stupid he was. That's when he stepped back into one of the dining room chairs. He probably stared at it for a moment before thinking of his partner, and angrily knocked it over. His own chair was to come next. He probably figured that if his partner hadn't come over to eat with him, like he had been doing for so long, that he wouldn't eat at all. The table didn't look good sitting there on its own, so Hisoka tipped it over. That wouldn't have made it as badly broken as it lay when he came in, which suggested that Hisoka had kicked it and stepped on it, until the last little pieces led into the kitchen.

He must have figured that if no one was going to eat, then there was no need for dishes. Tsuzuki checked. All of the dishes were trashed, and the blood on the counters must have been from cuts forming on his hands. Oh, well. There was never any food in the refrigerator, anyway. This really got Tsuzuki worried. What had Hisoka been living on for the past 3 weeks! He had to find him. Worried that Hisoka would try to end his life, like Tsuzuki had caught him trying to do, near when they first became partners, he checked the bathroom. Thanks goodness, there was no blood, or a 3 week old Hisoka corpse. That left only one place left to check.

Slowly, Tsuzuki padded his way down the short hallway. The sobs he had heard from outside the door were getting louder, and he knew he had found Hisoka. There was no need to open the door, as it lay open. Hisoka normally never neglected to close the doors…. Stepping in, Tsuzuki saw more damage. The lamp was broken, Hisoka's clothes were scattered all over the place and his dresser was tipped over slightly. His mirror lay in pieces on the floor, which made it difficult for Tsuzuki to safely step inside. The bed was also turned onto its side… but he couldn't see Hisoka. instead of using his sight, he followed his ears, and finally, on the other side of the overturned bed was his partner.

Hisoka was sitting on the floor with his legs brought up to his chest. His hair looked like it could use a good washing, and Tsuzuki was sad to see that the other hadn't changed his clothes, either. He could tell, because he saw the splotches of HIS blood on his partner's clothes. Hisoka's eyes were open, but staring out at nothing. He didn't hear or see, and he couldn't sense his partner there staring at him. Hisoka had abandoned his empathy, because the pain it brought him had sent him over the edge. Tsuzuki was about to speak, until he saw that Hisoka was clutching something loosely in his hands. He was surprised to see that it was his watch. Looking down at his scarred wrist, Tsuzuki mentally slapped himself for not noticing its absence. Though… it may have been the only thing keeping Hisoka from going over the edge during Tsuzuki's absence.

--

Hisoka couldn't see. He didn't want to see what he had done to his home that he and Tsuzuki had put together so nicely. He couldn't hear. There was nobody there to listen to, anyway. He couldn't feel. That was a lie. He could feel, but pain was his only sensation. His mind hurt, his body protested from having been in that same position for so long, however long it had been, and his heart ached. He almost wished he could have a heart attack, too. Maybe then, he could be where his partner was, then. Somehow, he was convinced Tsuzuki was dead. He wanted to be dead, too, and he hated himself for promising Tsuzuki not so. Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki… that was all he could thin about. How was his partner? Was he, indeed, dead? Why hadn't he heard form Tatsumi or Watari? Then, he faintly remembered pulling out the phone cord upon his entrance.

He felt sick, and cold, and alone and empty. His stomach was empty and his mouth was dry, but he didn't want to get up. He didn't want to face the world that had only tortured him, in life and in death. He thought that would all change, with Tsuzuki in his life. But that was all over, wasn't it? he sobbed quietly again as a tear rolled down his puffy, red cheek.

He was about to give up, when suddenly, a hand moved into his field of vision. I startled him even more when he saw the jagged scars on the wrist that reached out to him. It reminded him of death. Was death finally there to claim him? He had wished for it, but now that it was there, he was terrified of it. Weakly, he tried to move away form the hand, but it came closer. Hisoka closed his eyes tight and held even tighter onto the wristwatch he had relieved Tsuzuki of. It was the last thing he had of his partner, and he wasn't going to give it up, even to death or the devil, himself.

Instead of the cold touch of death he had been expecting, the hand gently touched his cheek, wiped the tears away and then settled for softly stroking the battered cheek. Hisoka's eyes opened at the calming touch, and he looked up to find his hazy green eyes meeting lively. Yet sad amethyst orbs.

"Hisoka…"

He knew that voice, but his mind wasn't registering anything. He knew who it was before him, but it took an extra long time for his mouth to move. His throat was so dry.

"T-Tsu…zu…"

The kid could only get out those few letters before he looked down again and grabbed his throat. Tsuzuki's fear was right. Hisoka hadn't had anything in him hardly at all. Then, he remembered the bottle of water, and reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled it out. he extended it to Hisoka, who looked at it as if it were a UFO.

"Here, Hisoka… please take it."

He did, but his hands were too weak to open it. Tsuzuki did the honors and helped it to Hisoka's mouth. After he was sure the boy had gotten enough to drink, he set it down and put the cap back on it. Hisoka was leaning against the wall again, but he felt relaxed enough to change his position, straitening out his legs. Tsuzuki saw how tired his partner was. He must not have slept, either. But, seeing the reaction he got last time as one of pleasure and relaxation, Tsuzuki repeated the motion of stroking Hisoka's cheek, then his arm. Soon, though, Hisoka's mind woke up, and his eyes opened wide. He weakly slapped the hand away and scooted along the wall until he was further away from Tsuzuki, until he was sure what he was seeing was real. Tsuzuki gave him a tilted, confused look.

"Hisoka?"

"Tsuzuki… is it… is it really you this time?"

"Really me?"

"You keep coming by… saying that you're okay… but it was never the real you. You always left me…"

"…It's the real me."

"How can I know for sure? You sound just like the others. "

Sitting on the floor, like Hisoka, Tsuzuki tried to reach out and touch Hisoka, but the boy flinched away. Tsuzuki gave him a sad look.

"It's me, because… I'm not going to say I'm okay. I'm far from it."

Tears started to form in Hisoka's eyes.

"Seeing you like this, Hisoka, hurts more than anything I've ever experienced in my entire life, and afterlife."

"Tsuzuki…!"

This sad, alien Tsuzuki was the most real and genuine Hisoka had ever seen, and he broke down, collapsing onto Tsuzuki's lap. He cried and Tsuzuki rubbed comforting circles on his back. Hisoka was attached at his waist, and he had no intention of ever letting go. But that was okay… Tsuzuki didn't expect or WANT him to.

"Tsuzuki, why did you do this to me? I thought you were dead! I wanted to die, too! Tsuzuki, I hate you! I hate you, I hate you!"

But Tsuzuki only smiled.

"Thank you, Hisoka…"

over two hours had passed, and Tsuzuki was slightly aware of the late hour and the puddle forming on his lap. Hisoka was pretty much tired out, and so it was easy for Tsuzuki to move the boy so he was lying on his chest, as Tsuzuki leaned his back against the wall. Hisoka groaned and settled into the new position. He opened his eyes when Tsuzuki started talking.

"If I recall… you were comforting me this very same way before, Hisoka. I was so afraid and sad… a lot of people had died, and I thought it was all my fault. Luckily, you were there to call me and idiot and brig me back to my senses. I was almost lost, until you saved me. However… you've got it better than me. Do you know why?"

Hisoka weakly shook his head.

"Because nobody died… and I'll never leave you again, Hisoka. I'll be with you, your partner, forever."

Hisoka felt those words echo deep in his heart, and he smiled, just before falling into the best sleep he had ever had in his entire life.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later:

"Ooh! I just LOVE the sweets!"

Tsuzuki was cuddling a cupcake at his desk, smiling like an idiot. Hisoka was calm and sane at his desk, stacking papers neatly.

"'Soka, do you want some?"

"No. I want you to go back to work. For once."

The young shinigami threw a glare in the elder's direction, which made him cower like the little half-puppy he thought he was.

"'Soka… Hidoi!"

"Yeah…tell it to someone who cares!"

Tsuzuki creied and cried. Then, something was placed on his head. A hand. He looked up to see Hisoka looking at him. He wasn't glaring, he was in fact almost smiling.

"Can we please get some work done? Tatsumi'll have our heads if we don't."

Tsuzuki hadn't seen Hisoka so calm for over three weeks, and he smiled.

"Okay!"

Hisoka nodded and returned to his desk, as Tsuzuki went to his. Ten minutes later, Tsuzuki started talking.

"Hey, Hisoka, will you take me out for lunch? I'm broke right now."

"You're always broke."

"I know. So, will you?"

"If you get enough work done, maybe."

Tsuzuki was silent, and Hisoka could sense some guilt. The empathy sighed and turned his head.

"What did you…"

His eyes just about jumped out of his head. All over Tsuzuki's desk were little origami figures of deserts. And what were they folded out of? None other but the paperwork he was supposed to be filling out. Tsuzuki laughed and Hisoka hit his head.

"Idiot!


End file.
